The Fashion World is a funny beast. One moment it's reaching for the stars in designs recalling celestial magnificence (Sequins! Sparkle!); the next, it's fallen with a thud back to Mother Earth, digging deep to discover what really gets us humans hot under the collar for the upcoming season.
Their unanimous, unerring verdict? The Animal Kingdom.
Ponder for a moment and see if you can't think of a time when some form of bestial inspiration didn't rear on its hind legs and prance down a runway somewhere. Consider the following: Leopard and zebra prints. Feathers (Alexander McQueen's final, post-humous show was a glorious tribute to golden plumage). The pussy bow. Horse snaffles (here's looking at you, Hermes). Fur. Why, even the enduring 'pony tail' bears the follicular essence of its horsey provence.
But now, the claws are most certainly out. The animals are fashion-fit, and fighting back.
Let's begin with the apparently benign. You've seen it. I've seen it. We just weren't cognisant of the beginning of a four-legged fashion revolution, of dogs and cats pitter-pattering their perfect paws the world-over in various threaded guises. Sweaters! Sunglasses! Bandanas! Hats! Heavens, I even saw a canine dressed as a bumblebee around my neck of the woods the other week. The foot path is no longer the domain of the two-legged Trendster; it's become the lower-level stomping ground for our newly-minted, furry-fashion frenemies.
For how can we compete with such a daily spectacle of sartorial magnificence? Animals are, after all, the only ones who can get away with wearing real fur. With 'cool cats' and 'hot dogs' no longer innocent utterances, the sheer hide of it all has got me scratching for solutions.
Indeed, a scrawled 'Found' poster in a Sydney cafe this past month adds to the mounting evidence. 'Found: One grey shihtzu (sic) in Newtown wearing a black velvet jacket and red, diamante-studded collar. Name: Coco (on tag)', etc, etc.
There are several things in the above which one must question and yet simultaneously applaud, for even the name 'Coco' is resplendent in its unrivalled fashion nous, and Coco Kennel has a certain je ne sais quoi to it when pronounced with a drawn-out affectation. But perhaps what struck me most was that little Coco was dressed to the puppy nines. Black velvet and red diamante collar? For day? That shrieks four-legged fashion fantasy to me. There can be no doubt: Doggone it = fashion found.
And let's not pussyfoot around the fact that cats are also discovering the unimaginable joys of dressing up for the occasion, the Puss In Boots fable proving to be not so far-fetched as we once imagined. Indeed, L.A.-based label Juicy Couture is having a field day with its Crittoure take on its human perfume, Couture. Dare I say it, with all this now taking on a life of its own, it may not be long before those of endless pockets seek out the pinnacle of purrfect fashion for Moggy, et al: Haute Cature.
Think it through. They're clever, these four-legged types, already eyeing off those high-end labels and making them their own. Viktor and Rolf? Viktor and Wolf. Miu Miu? Meow Meow. Pucci? Poochi. Destined to be a howling success, there's not a thing you, nor I, can do about it.
They'll have their way, and perhaps it's about time. My advice? Simply keep them on a tight leash and suspend their subscriptions to Dogue magazine and the like. It may not hold them back forever, but for now, let the four-legged enjoy their upstanding moment in the spotlight of being fashion's beast in show.
In the meantime, sharpen your claws and prepare to catch out those bleeting sheep in Viktor and Wolf's clothing and that lamb dressed as mutton.
One thing's fur sure. Fashion's dog-eat-dog world is about to become a whole lot ruffer.
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