People, you have been warned. A/W 2011 is, quite simply put, a jungle. Have you glanced online or skimmed through the international glossies recently? There is a veritable entanglement of all things furry that has quite got my hair standing on end.
I blame the giant, bona fide iceberg that Chanel's Kaiser Karl transported in especially from Scandinavia to take centre stage at the Fall '11 ready-to-wear collection. Amidst its hulking presence, and the subzero winds swirling in cahoots around Le Grand Palais, out trotted what appeared to be a collection of Caveman Chic; looks that suggested the Kaiser had been watching Harry And The Hendersons on prolonged repeat. Sure, the iceberg and the ensuing (faux) fur-covered foray were all an unmistakable nod to global warming, but in all things holy, is this the tip of the (ahem) iceberg for fashion's newest global norming?
When worn in moderation, fur can add a touch of luxurious glamour - a chance to keep it real in fake; perhaps the only time in fashion when this won't raise an attempted arched eyebrow of botoxed contempt. A snug jacket encourages late-night 'touchy-feely' conversations in some dimly-lit corner; a textured handbag becomes the tactile topic du jour.
But in the guise of some wayward homage to an extinct woolly mammoth? Let's. Get. Serious. This whole, ol' caveman look is dead and buried. Indeed, it's highly possible that the word 'ugh' came not from an utter lack of language, but rather from the inherent, overwhelming sadness at their overall attire; hardly 'date night' appropriate. So why attempt to bring it back? Why dress men as manimals in what appears to be a couture version of the 'Snuggie'; the all-in-one ensemble designed for those one step away from refusing to wear 'proper' clothing again, such is its purported comfort.
Truly, I search for answers, but have come up as empty-handed as the empty-headed who will doubtless buy into this pileous look. And like a sartorial soothsayer, I also forsee grave danger in embodying the 'wilder' side of fashion: one lit ash from an animated cigarette and it's bye-bye beastie. Is that how you want to be remembered?
Please, Karl, come back to us next season with some real fierce fashion. I'm sure that, by then, all will be fur-given.
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